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Subject: Jokes 4 You.
Replies: 38 Views: 2921
aryan.k8 30.09.11 - 04:41am
JOKES FOR YOU! *
aryan.k8 1.10.11 - 07:58am
A rabbit runs & hops & lives only for 15 years! A turtle doesnt run, does nothing, yet lives for 450 years! EXERCISE IS HELL, SLEEP WELL! Be lazy, Go crazy!! *
aryan.k8 1.10.11 - 11:34am
How gals think be4 replying..
Guy: Hey...
Gal (to herself): Oh my God.. he just texted me.. I wonder what he wants.. maybe he just wants to talk.. maybe he's mad at me, i mean all he said was hey.. I should just answer him, i dont want to keep him waiting..well maybe ill wait another 3 minutes so he thinks im busy.. no, thats too obvious. Could this mean he's into me? Or is he just bored? Either way is fine, i mean i dont care if he likes me back. who said that i even liked him?! im just gonna text him back now. Should i reply hi or hey? or hey with three y's? no thats stupid. 2 y's works. He wont know if i did it on purpose or if it was just accidental. Okay. I got this.
Breath in, breath out.
.
Gal: Heyy.. *
aryan.k8 16.10.11 - 07:43am
When you Dont know what you are doing, do it neatly. :-D *
aryan.k8 16.10.11 - 07:07pm
A boy touched his girl friend..
Girl said.. dont touch me..all dat only after marriage..
boy said ok .
call me after your marriage! *
aryan.k8 16.10.11 - 07:08pm
Daughter-I am in love with neighbour,so I am running away with him.
Dad-Thanx dear,u hav saved money & time.
Daugter-Dad! I am reading dis letter left by mom! *
aryan.k8 16.10.11 - 07:13pm
Always remember:
When SHE cancels a date, it is because..
SHE HAS TO
But
When HE cancels a date, it is because..
HE HAS TWO :-) *
aryan.k8 18.10.11 - 05:34am
Dad : What do you want to be when you grow up?
Son : A soldier!
Dad : But you might get injured by enemies!
Son : Okay! Then I want be an enemy! *
aryan.k8 19.10.11 - 06:25pm
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did :-D *
aryan.k8 19.10.11 - 07:58pm
Rascalla Rap :
The length of his hair changes shot-to-shot One moment he's bald, then he's not, Thats all the acting you will see of this fella,Sanju Baba, you rascalla!
If Mausam ticked off the Indian Air Force, Then the Navy should cry themselves se, For he maligns them, he's such a killa, Ajay Devgn, you rascalla!
First in a bikini, then in a frock, Her acting akin to a rock, So how big was that chequella, Kangna Ranaut, you rascalla?
Your intelligence it will insult, Your senses it will assault, This movie is really hella, David Dhawan, you rascalla!
Two conmen trying to be funny, Really audience, the jokes on you, What theyre stealing is your money. David Dhawan, Rascals itself is a crime, And my license to write bad rhyme. *
aryan.k8 21.10.11 - 08:37pm
A girl phoned me the other day and said Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. And Nobody was home. :-D *
aryan.k8 23.10.11 - 07:27am
3 Men were drunk, they stopped a taxi. The taxi driver figured that they were drunk,he just switched on the engine & switched it off & told them,we have arrived. The 1st guy gave him money, 2nd guy said thanks but the 3rd guy slapped him. The taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that none of them must have realized that the car didn't move an inch. so he asked,what was that for? Guy Replied, control your speed next time Dude,you almost killed us... :p *
aryan.k8 24.10.11 - 04:57pm
When i told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.. :-D *
ankit0x 25.10.11 - 04:20pm
Science vale Sochte h k Rose kaise bana?
Arts vale Sochte hai k Rose kaise Draw kare?
But
Commerce vale Sochte hai k Rose kise De?
Dat's marketing *
aryan.k8 28.10.11 - 07:25am
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He wont expect it back. *
aryan.k8 1.11.11 - 07:45pm
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it. *
aryan.k8 6.11.11 - 04:23am
Hard work never killed anybody but why take a chance? *
aryan.k8 6.11.11 - 04:31am
Height of ATTITUDE :-
I am JEALOUS of my parents,
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Bz I will never have a kid as smart as theirs! *
aryan.k8 21.11.11 - 04:04pm
Husband : (sends an SmS to wife)- Hi darling! what are you doing?
Wife : Am dying!
Husband : [ Jumps with Joy] but asks- Oh darling how can i live without you?
Wife : You Idiot!! Am dying my Hair!
Husband : blood English language ! :-D *
aryan.k8 21.12.11 - 11:58am
Women always worry about the things that men forget. And men always worry about the things that women remember.. :-D *
aryan.k8 21.12.11 - 05:41pm
I love 2 walk in the rain ..so that no one can see my tears.. :(
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I love 2 walk in the fog so that no one can see that i am smoking. :-D *
aryan.k8 28.12.11 - 02:20pm
One day Raja and Rani decided to send messages to each other by using pigeon instead of mobile. The very next day the pigeon reached Raja without any message. He got angry and made a call 2 Rani. Rani said- Stupid this was a missed Call :-D *
aryan.k8 12.01.12 - 12:38pm
Son : Dad have you ever been to egypt?
DAD : No.. But why are you asking?
Son : Well, where did you get this MUMMY then? :-D *
aryan.k8 27.01.12 - 06:56am
Two wrongs dont make a right, but three lefts do... *
aryan.k8 29.01.12 - 03:26am
Two silk worms were in a race, it ended in a TIE. :-D *
aryan.k8 16.02.12 - 06:04am
Mom: You know my son, im kinda noticing you're good at maths so im gonna try and ask you a math question ok?
Son: ok mom
Mom: If ur daddy gives you 3 apples and i give you 4 apples, wat is ur answer?
Son: THANK YOU MOM AND DAD!!!!! *
aryan.k8 2.03.12 - 07:15pm
PERFECT BUSINESS-
Dad : I want you to marry a girl of my
choice.
Son : No!
Dad : The girl is Bill Gates' daughter.
Son : Then ok!
Dad goes to Bill Gates
Dad : I want your daughter to marry my
son.
Bill Gates : No!
Dad : My son is the CEO of the World
Bank.
Bill Gates : Then ok!
Dad goes 2 the President of the World
Bank..
Dad: Apoint my son as the CEO of ur
bank.
President : No!
Dad: He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
President : Then ok!
This is BUSINESS :-D ... *
aryan.k8 5.03.12 - 06:46am
Lovely Cute Joke- Boy : Give me book Girl : Which book do you want? Boy : Oh! No no.. Book means-B-BABY, O-ONLY, O-ONE, K-KISS. :-D *
aryan.k8 7.03.12 - 06:39am
One day Peter's Girl friend asks him, darling, on our Engagement will you give me a RING?
Peter Says : Yea sure, Give me your mobile Number. *
aryan.k8 7.03.12 - 06:40am
The best quote of advertisment written in front of a famous beauty parlour-
Don't whistle at the girl going out from here She might be ur grand mother! :-D *
aryan.k8 20.03.12 - 10:27am
Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never lose - your good looks, because you can never lose what you don't have! :-D *
aryan.k8 10.04.12 - 10:42am
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. *
aryan.k8 14.04.12 - 09:02am
Having one child makes you a parent, having two makes you a referee! :-D *
aryan.k8 18.04.12 - 05:08am
Chai wala 1 girl se: Bholi si soorat aankon me masti door khari sharmaye..aye haye. Girl reply: kali si surat, haatho me Chenak door khara chillay chaye chaye.. :-D *
1madmark 18.04.12 - 08:53pm
Jack an Jill went up the hill, so Jack could lick Jills funny! Jack had a shock! With a mouthful of ! Cos Jills a pre-op !!! :-D *
aryan.k8 25.11.12 - 04:19am
Hospitality-
Making your guests feel like they are at home, even if you wish they were! *
aryan.k8 23.12.12 - 04:40am
A Father put his 3year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying,
God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma andgood-bye Grandpa.
The father asked, 'Why did yousay good-bye Grandpa?'
The little girl said, I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.
The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this,
God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma.
The next day the grandmotherdied.
They were both her maternal grandparents.
Holy cr*p thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy.
He practically went into shock.He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn togo to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock.. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office,so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, lookingat his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.
When he got home his wife said, I've never seen you work so late. What's the matter?
He said, I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life.
She said, You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning my boss dropped dead in the middle of a meeting! *
aryan.k8 3.02.13 - 06:11am
British : why you Indians are all in different colors?
Look we are all white!
Pappu : Horses are in different colors but donkeys are all the same!
Pappu rocked, British shocked.... :-P *
adnaan69 3.02.13 - 08:32am
Traffic police (TP) ne ek ladke ko roka: Aapna license dikao.
Ladka: Nahi hai.
TP: Kya license banvaya hai ya nahi.
Ladka: Nahi.
TP: Kyon?
Ladka: Banwane gaya tha, woh Voter ID card mangte hain, aur woh mere paas nahi hai..
TP: To Voter ID card Banwale..
Ladka: Banwane gaya tha, woh Ration Card mangte hain, woh mere paas nahi hai..
TP: Toh fir Ration Card banwale..
Ladka: Gaya tha, Woh Bank ki Paasbook mangte hain, woh mere paas nahi hai..
TP: To fir isme kya hai, Bank main account khulwale mere baap..
Ladka: Bank bhi gaya tha saab, lekin woh Driving License
mangte hain.... *
